So You Think You Can Hate
I would like to thank all the people out there who saved me from embarrassing myself.
Last Thursday night on So You Think You Can Dance, a black man danced with a white woman. In this day and age, I didn’t think it was a big deal. But as soon as they began to dance, Nigel Lythgoe (one of the judges) commented loudly, “That’s strange, the hand on the back of the neck.”
In all honesty, the interracial couple wasn’t great. They switched leads, they looked awkward together at times, and the ending – the guy dropped his partner and then fell down on top of her – was an unmitigated disaster. But it bothered me that Nigel, who snickered and averted his eyes throughout the performance, actually laughed out loud when the dancers fell to the floor.
In giving his judgment, Nigel said, “Your styles were good, if I just stick with the dancing.” That confused me. With all due respect, the show is called So You Think You Can Dance, so why wouldn’t he “stick with the dancing” when asked for his opinion?
Evidently, dancing is not enough. Nigel bluntly stated, “I think you probably alienate a lot of our audience. I mean, we’ve always had different races dance together on the show, but they’ve never really done it in each other’s arms before. I’m certainly one of those people that really like to see whites with whites and blacks with blacks. I don’t think I liked it, to be frank. But if we just keep it down to your dancing rather than you dancing together in this style, I thought you were both good and strong. So thank you for coming and sharing a first with us.”
Mary Murphy (another of the judges) said, “It was hard for me to even kind of focus on that technique ’cause I was still just trying to figure out – it would have been easier for me in other words if both of you were the same color.”
Nigel, in response, said, “Well, I don’t think you want to see a black person and a white person and think of them as a couple.”
At the end, Nigel said, “Do you know what? I would like to see you both dancing with your own kind.” After the other two judges quickly agreed, Nigel said, “You never know, you might enjoy that too.”
I found the whole segment, the comments by the judges, everything about it, to be extremely offensive. But thank God for straight people. They let me know immediately that I was wrong.
Because, of course, the couple dancing last Thursday night were two men, not an interracial couple. And everyone knows that hatred only counts if you’re talking about real people, not fagots. Only those who worry about being “politically correct” would be offended by being told they would spend eternity burning in hell, should not be allowed near children (let alone raise them), would destroy everything true and righteous about our beautiful country if allowed to marry, and by all means should never dance together as if they were heterosexuals.
I was surprised, disappointed and yes, extremely hurt, to be bitch-slapped by a reality dance program one-and-a-half hours into the program. I was thoroughly enjoying the program, inspired by the talented auditions and the dancers who sacrificed so much to follow their dreams.
And then two guys danced together and reminded me that, as a gay man, I should accept without complaint being the object of ridicule and derision. As the men walked away, the producers played a song that said, “This is a man’s world. But it wouldn’t be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl.” For ninety minutes, I had completely forgotten that I was a reprehensible deviant.
Fortunately, So You Think You Can Dance reminded me that I should never get cocky enough to forget that only very specific definitions of love are acceptable.
Thank you, straight people for – well – setting me straight. I promise I’ll try to remember my proper place in the future.
